By Your Side
by seasaltmemories
Summary: There was only one place Lizzy belong, by his side, as his partner, his friend, his sword to drive out the darkness


**Cover was created by crazie-crissie on deviantart**

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><p>Ciel was never good with words. Of course he could order and command and speak of why she couldn't join him in on the investigation this time. What Lizzy meant was he could never express his emotions as eloquently as his speeches and monologues.<p>

And it hurt at first, but Lizzy never dared show that it did. Instead she simply simpered like a fool and talked enough for the both of them.

Eventually she grew to learn he had different ways of slipping in his "I love you's"

"You good?"

"Did you get that bastard?"

"Here, you take this gun, just in case,"

He spoke a different language of love, one that could take forever to decipher, but Lizzy learned to just grit her teeth and be patient.

It could be like pulling teeth dealing with him. He was stubborn, but she was too. It took a year after he learned of her talent before he even thought of teaching her how to shoot a gun. Another year before he finally gave in and let her join an investigation. And Lizzy knew it was because he cared, but that didn't stop her from wanting to scream in his face she wasn't an innocent fool.

She knew words wouldn't penetrate his thick skull, only actions. So she showed him how she could run a sword through a man without hesitating, how she could bind her breasts, dress in men's clothing, and match Ciel's every step. And slowly, he stopped seeing her as a child.

He never stopped worrying about her though, a lady shouldn't deal with the scum of London. But Lizzy wasn't just a lady, and she made sure he never forgot it.

She was a warrior, one adorned in pink bows and frills, but a warrior nevertheless. Instead of abandoning her femininity altogether, what the world said she needed to do to earn her mark of bravery, she sharpened it, refined it in the flames of womanhood. Mama had taught her to use whatever she could as a weapon, and so she did just that. When going into battle she not only carried her dual swords, but the twin pistols, charm and deceit. She made known to their enemies she wasn't just a warrior, and if they lived, to never forget it.

But sometimes, late at night when her body begged for sleep, but her mind was racing around, she worried it was all for naught. All her scars, all her hard work would never mean anything to her fiance.

While both played with fire, they used it for different means. Lizzy raised it like a torch, while slashing through the evil in the dark. It was her beacon of hope, lighting the way to a future where all her family and loved ones were happy and safe.

But Ciel, while battling burned the bridges to him and the monsters. She didn't know if he did so to protect everyone from the beasts or from himself. All she knew is he cut himself off from her, making it impossible for her to even try to defend her best friend.

It made her scared. It made her angry. How dare he drag her through such a hell, pushing away all her attempts to be a part of his life.

Because if she couldn't stand by his side, she had no place in this world. She would never be good enough for the noblewomen or for the knights. To do so would mean forsaking a part of herself.

Since she could hold a sword, Lizzy had been trained to be the wife of the Queen's Watchdog. She had been molded so, that she would never completely fit into a different role. But it didn't matter to her for she loved Ciel. Lizzy loved being with him because he didn't mind her strange dual-nature. After the truth came out, he never looked down on her for her warrior side or her feminine side. Years of hiding such a secret had worn her down, and imagining losing his rude, cold, but ultimately accepting presence was terrifying.

But then all those worries dispersed when she was out in the field, doing what she did best. Protecting her Ciel, her country, feeling the blood thumping through her veins. It was horrible, horrible work, seeing how far man could stoop. Still she'd endure the nightmares, the death, knowing in that moment she was important, she was needed.

In her worst moments, she clung to the memory of Ciel rushing towards her, after a brush with death.

It had been so unlike him, holding on to her like she might disappear. Sebastian had only worn his Mona Lisa smile, but all she had been aware of was her rabbit heart and Ciel's sigh of relief.

"Don't worry," She had whispered so quietly, she barely heard it herself. "I'm here." By his side, and it would take Hell itself to uproot her from her post.

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><p><strong>A.N. Words cannot describe my adoration for Lizzy Midford, the dual-wielding love of my life. I was having feels about her, and I wanted to do something analyzing her dreamshopes/insecurities etc.**


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